fluffy — tastefullyoffensive: Remember to check your...

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tastefullyoffensive
tastefullyoffensive

Remember to check your kids’ Halloween candy. (vine by Brittlestar)

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bogleech
bogleech

I keep saying variations on this but food does not work like an RPG item pickup. You don’t have a set of “health values” that immediately raise and lower with everything you eat. People talk as if a pizza “damages your body” or a vegetable “lowers your cholesterol” or that every “fattening” thing you eat is literally adding a little more fat to your body per serving.

This is not remotely how a real body works. That’s how a video game character works. The long term trends of what you eat condition your metabolism in different ways over time. If your cholesterol improves because you’re eating more vegetables it’s because you gave your cells more time to use up the cholesterol they actually need to build their membranes, not because the vitamins in vegetables are generating some magic Healthfulness Energy. If you’re gaining weight from eating lots of cake every day it’s because the excess sugar is affecting how your body distributes and retains the surplus resources long-term, not because each bite of cake physically adds like 1 more point of fat cells to your stomach. That’s not biology.

thingsstingshouldsing
submalevolentgrace

i think i'm just about ready to snap and start unhinged yelling about generational neglect in the queer community

submalevolentgrace

image

young queers hate anyone that isn't young.

i wish it was more complex than that. it's always couched in some other argument of course, about how times have changed or how old people are inherently more conservative or how "outdated" language is "offensive", rich out of touch boomers etc, but it's just a distraction. new young people enter the queer community and want it all to be fresh and new and sexy, they want to be the trailblazers, the first generation really pushing back, the first true radicals. after all, if the previous generations had done it right, they'd have defeated bigotry and oppression, right? so they must have been fighting wrong. they must have been bad queers - sorry, bad LGBTQIA+'s. so they should shut up and let us kids fix it.!

of course there will be black and white photos of "elders" and a sort of performed reverence for "history" and us "always being here", but only as history, never as contemporaries, as members of our continuous community that we should actively listen to. the voices of those that came before are only revered once they're dead and they can't argue back at teenagers wildly misreading and rewriting their lives... or maybe even worse, the fresh queers might discover their revolutionary new praxis system has actually been done before!!

the excuse i hate most though?

"we lost a whole generation to AIDS"

i am so fucking sick of hearing this, absolutely sick to my stomach of it. because we didn't! i am not at all going to minimise how horrific the aids catastrophe was to our community or how many it killed, because i have heard first hand stories of people that lived through it, who lost friends and families to it.

but that's the point. they lived through it. many queers did! depending on where you are, most queers did!

we have a living, continuous, unbroken line of queers spanning back all of living memory who we could truly embrace as elders of a community, to care for and learn from, so that we don't have to stumble through alone, but we don't. a "queer elder" is someone like me apparently, 35. i keep having people in their early 20's tell me how thankful they are for my "wisdom", like bitch, there are 60-80 year old queers out there, ready to tell their stories! they will know a fuckton more than me, and all of it is still relevant!

when i was in my 20's, and i was lucky enough to learn from some of them at the rare events where they were welcomed; 50yo's setting up casual evenings for anyone and everyone to come and talk and share stories and learn from each other. i had a therapist once that was a grumpy old dyke that came out in the 70's, and while we often had friction in our opinions on mental health strategies, her experience was invaluable for me untangling a lot of internalized hatred and self loathing. it broke my heart one day when she just straight up said "people would rather pretend we'd all died from aids though, than have to listen to what we've got to say".

but even in the decade since then, it's got worse and worse.

everyone i know my age who once had an active and thriving social network in the queer community has withdrawn into isolation. we live in small pockets with few friends. there's no space left for us. all ages events and gatherings are organised for the fresh and young, and they complain if we're there - we being anyone who dares to be a little wrinkly and saggy. any event that has a minimum age, 30+, 40+, 50+ etc, get flooded with hate for being "exclusionary", or "hoarding resources" like community is a 4X game. teenagers complain about "creepy old predators" having picnics at midsumma carnival. people in their 60's are told to go kill themselves for daring to use the same language they did 40 years ago - ironically right in the middle of the aids crisis that supposed cost us all our elders. horizontal ageist violence in the queer community is some of the nastiest emotional vitriol i've seen, and i've been hate crimed (:(:

so we withdraw into eternal loneliness, looking for scraps, being told our names and flags and core identities are as hurtful as the weapons of the oppressors. told we should either ovverhaul our entire experience of being queer to fit in with what's acceptable in this 3-year cycle of new identities and symbols, or stfu and go away.

but there's this pervasive fear and hopelessness you see among young queers, talking about how high our suicide rates are, talking about losing a whole generation to aids; because when we're made invisible, what are the youth supposed to think other than that we've got an expiry date, and they won't live past 29?

the elders are here and they need love and support too, or the cycle will just repeat, and those fresh sexy young queers will also grow up and be discarded, again and again.

and i'm so, so tired of it.

local-trees

the swiftness and cruelty with which younger queers will discard someone from the community is unfortunately not limited to queer elders.

there is a tendency to dispose of anyone who says a wrong thing, has a wrong kink, isn’t ideologically pure in the way the in-group is etc.

it is a sad way to be in community, if you can even call it a community, when everyone lives in fear of making a mistake and being ostracized as a “harm-doer”; and it is exactly what fascists and homophobes want—it serves their interests for us to eat our own.

so maybe think about that the next time you go to cancel a 50-year-old queer for calling herself a transsexual.

thingsstingshouldsing
sexhaver

my favorite r/researchchemicals post was one where OP was like "oh my god guys do NOT do etizolam, i just regained consciousness after a full WEEK and have been told i was going to my job the entire time like everything was normal" and then someone asked what his job was and he said he operates an industrial crane at a shipping dock

sexhaver

some addendums:

  • as people in the notes have pointed out, saying he "regained consciousness" isn't entirely accurate. etizolam causes anterograde amnesia (the inability to form new memories), so dude was fully conscious the entire time, just physically incapable of remembering it until the etiz wore off.
  • everyone asking how big of a dose he took to be out of commission for a week has the wrong idea - he didn't take all of it at once, he compulsively redosed until he ran out entirely. one of the biggest dangers with etizolam is that it combines the aforementioned anterograde amnesia with delusions of sobriety. this forms a vicious cycle where, once you take enough to get high the first time, you forget taking it, forget that you're even high, and decide to take some more. rinse and repeat until your entire stash is depleted. the main safeguard against this is storing the etiz in a time safe so it's physically impossible to redose, but even this isn't foolproof - people have managed to use power tools to break into their own locked time safe at 2am while convinced they're stone cold sober.
  • PLEASE do not do etizolam because of this post jesus fucking christ!!!! it is not this cool pill you take to go on autopilot from your boring job; it's an obscenely addictive drug that can literally ruin your life on the first use. etizolam is everything D.A.R.E. made weed sound like, but real. if you don't believe me, ask anyone even tangentially related to the research chem scene: they'll know at least one or two people who took etiz once and drove their car into a daycare or some shit. stay away from both research chems and benzos in general, but for the love of God stay away from the intersection of them
fluffy-critter

Etizolam (and all the other related chemicals like midazolam, alprazolam, etc.) can basically turn you into the guy from Memento while you’re on it, as can a few other inhibitor-type drugs like gabapentin. I’ve heard lots of horror stories from people who lost weeks of their life to these medications.

kimpossibooty
carys-the-ninth

"The magic system is never fully explained" yeah that's how life works. Imagine having a story set in modern day America and the characters have several pages of exposition on combustion engines and telecommunication networks before we get to the plot

fluffy-critter

You don’t have to imagine it; I’d like to direct you to the classic, “If all stories were written like science fiction stories,” by Mark Rosenfelder.

malytwotails
frankie-assassin

@hieronymus-bush … although I’m not sure what you’ll think of it 😆

hieronymus-bush

Holy hell. He has amazing technique AND he didn’t just transcribe the piece to piano, he essentially composed classical music (and honestly some neo-classical, lol) based on the melody. Plus, he kind of looks like Freddie.

muchymozzarella

People in the 1800s would've gone apeshit over this in the concert halls

fluffy-critter

This is what would happen if someone used a time machine to give Rachmaninoff a Queen CD

fluffy rambles: GERDing my loins
I used to have pretty bad issues with GERD back in the day, which I ended up successfully treating through a change in diet and habits, namely not eating after 9 PM and pretty much eliminating mint from my diet (aside from the occasional treat). But lately I’ve been having GERD issues again, and for the past few days in particular have been waking up in the middle of the night with acid in my throat and, often, rather loud noises of bubbling through my body, which I assume are peristalsis with gas bubbles or something. This has been pretty badly affecting my sleep and making my fatigue way, way worse than usual. Ugh. I suspect that the current culprit is tomatoes. I’ve been back on a pizza-making kick lately, and on days when I’m not eating pizza I’ve been having a chickpea curry in tomato sauce, which I made way too much of (and am not particularly enjoying anyway). I think I should limit tomato-based foods to lunchtime for now. I can’t think of anything else which would be causing GERD to happen; I usually only have at most one coffee drink a day and when I do it’s always before 3 PM (and that’s definitely been the case for the last few weeks). Another possibility is I might have a hiatal hernia. I certainly have pretty much all of the risk factors for it (aside from my age, but given all the other crap going on with my body, what’s 6 years in the grand scheme of things?). I think I need to be more consistent about eating bran flakes for breakfast. Getting more vegetables in my diet wouldn’t hurt, either. I used to also use omeprazole as a first-line treatment for GERD whenever my symptoms returned, but the last time I tried that (7-8 years ago, I think) I got some of the weird rare neurological side effects of it, so I’d rather not mess with that this time around. I should also probably prop my bed up again, too. I had the headboard propped up a few inches but I didn’t set that back up when I moved a year and a half ago, and while I doubt that’s the reason the symptoms are back, it certainly isn’t helping matters right now. Propping up my current bed frame is kind of a chore and this might be the excuse I need to finally replace it; I’ve had the same bed frame since 2005 and it’s overdue for a refresh. That’ll be another thing to think about when my condo sale goes through in a couple weeks. comments #health #GERD #food (via busybee)
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fluffy rambles: Critter avatar progress
I hadn’t made much progress on my avatar, as mentioned previously, because I wasn’t feeling all that up on building stuff for VRChat for a number of reasons. But I’ve finally gotten the urge to start working on it again, and I’ve made quite a bit of progress. The main thing is over the past day or so I’ve set up all of the visemes and some useful configuration shapekeys1 (namely being able to adjust the torso configuration), and have also looked at some plugins that will supposedly make my life easier. In particular, my friend Lagos pointed me to Cat’s Blender Plugin which seems to provide some very nice improvements to the VRChat avatar creation workflow. I’m at a point where I think the next steps are rigging and UVing, and those require destructively applying my mesh modifiers, which is a point of no return. I think the Cat’s Plugin workflow is set up such that instead of doing that to my base model, I’m supposed to export it as a .fbx and then reimport it into a new project (or as a new object in the same project, I suppose) and then do the next steps from there. Which makes some amount of sense. I do wish that for 3D models you could do more with it while it’s still a subdivision surface, because that makes it much easier to iterate on geometry and shapekeys after starting on the later parts, but I can see why that would also be difficult to support correctly. Attribute data such as UV coordinates and bone weights and so on could be applied based on blending between the control points, but that’d also be pretty frought with peril. The various Blender tutorials I’ve seen do apply those attributes at the subdivision level but those tutorials are also targeting Blender as a cinematic modeler for use with its own built-in renderer, so there’s some pretty vast differences that are going to be necessary from that, I think. (I’m not too up on the math involved in Catmull-Clark subdivision surfaces in the first place, honestly.) But I should at least see if I can do UVs in subdivision space, since that would at least make future iteration so much easier. The main things I’m not looking forward to figuring out are: How to rig the mittens Really, how to rig in general Setting up the various “expression” modifiers in the VRC SDK Also setting up walk loops, crouch poses, etc.; I’m not sure how much of that VRC takes care of automatically in SDK3 with the new IK engine and how much still has to be done manually On the other hand, I’m feeling a lot better about targeting VRChat for now. Yeah, I don’t like the idea of doing stuff specific to one specific VR platform, but the other major platforms are worse in several key ways (and don’t actually address any of the concerns I have about VRC), and all of my friends are still on VRC. Anything that will replace VRC will probably take a while to get to a point where it’s usable/useful. Apparently both of the major competitors (ChilloutVR and NeosVR) don’t make it too hard to import from VRChat at this point, anyway, so if I need to cut and run it’s not going to be that big of a problem to do so, I don’t think. Expression modifiers are of course the most obnoxious thing in VRC, because it’s all tied to the animation system, which is all built around, well, animations. I’m probably just going to use the builtin shaders with the hope that I can build expression “animations” that swap out normal maps and textures separately (rather than swapping out entire materials) and then I can set a bunch of color schemes and normal maps to choose from and sliders for material parameters, which gives me everything I want. Most avatars these days use the Poiyomi shaders, but those are built in such a way that they have to be “frozen” which doesn’t let you swap out material parameters in realtime, so you have to basically build a separate material for every possible color and material combination you want. The built-in PBR shaders, on the other hand, just take an albedo map, a normal map, and a bunch of lighting parameters, and they’re all modifiable in real time. And they also work cross-platform, too, which is a huge bonus. It’s also vaguely easier to get more consistency with the lighting, although the way most environments are built I worry that might be “consistently awful.” But we’ll see. There’s also the possibility of building some custom shaders that would give me more flexibility, but that also has downsides. I was thinking at one point of making one mega-shader that would encode three different color setups (plaid, stripes, polkadots) into the R/G/B channels and putting the tummypatch into A, and then having shader parameters for choosing the color style and mappings on the fly. Which would also look a lot cooler when I shift stuff around, since people could see things fade around as I manipulate them. But that would only work on PC, and I think the permissions model also would get in the way of that working as universally as I’d like. Although for Quest I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to limit it to a single texture and normal map anyway, so Quest users would only be able to see me modify my shininess and that’s about it. But Quest users being able to see something is better than the current situation, where all they see is one of the default public fallbacks. Anyway. It’s nice to make some progress on this stuff. Yay, etc. Also known as “blend shapes,” a term I keep on defaulting to because that’s what all of the animators I worked with at HBO called it, presumably because that’s what Maya calls it. ↩ comments #VRChat #blender (via busybee)
beesbuzz.biz
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